Getting up was easy enough
until I realized I had to move on.
I'd go,
stopping only to mark the miles
with words scribbled with a naked fingertip on
dusty windowpanes, wondering
where everyone else went when they moved on.
Then without realizing it, late
as usual and completely unawares,
I arrived.
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9 comments:
Actually, this is probably my least, or one of my least favorite of yours. To me, being the great poem critic that I am, it just doesn't seem to flow.
Or
perhaps it's just because I read yours immediately following Richard's.
I was tired of arranging and rearranging, and rewording... I just posted it in "draft" form.
Okay. Inspiration at 3AM... This is the final version (I think!), so WHAT do y'all think?
i like it a lot better! i give it the endorsement of the national poetry society. i'm not just the president; i'm a member too.
Awww... THANKS the T!
I wished you had explored more the part "wondering where everyone went when they moved on" because it is such a characteristic thing to say, "Oh, I've moved on." Or "We've moved on."
And exactly where have they "moved on" to?? Something like...
"Wondering where everyone went when they moved on
And without realizing it, late as usual, I arrived
Somewhere between bliss and indifference
And there you were--
I see,
We had moved on."
I thought it would work well to leave the reader to consider this nebulous place where people go when they move on, but you're right, I could have given it a somewhat abstract description, as you did.
I see you interpreted the ending differently than I meant it to be understood. I can see why. In this poem, the speaker arrives at the place where everyone goes once they've moved on, and finds a NEW love waiting for him. :-)
why nothing new?
Oh... uh... because... um... ya know. I'm lazy.
In spanish, a lazy guy is called HUEVÓN. That means he has huge HUEVOS that don't allow him to get up.
I'm not saying I have huge ones, but, well... you get the idea.
I have lots that I've started, but nothing finished.
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